User:Cowsfeelchicken

welcome to BatshitInsane productions!

so i think im gonna invest my time into using a proven game engine for any further BatshitInsane productions, and the source engine seems like an obvious choice, given its proven to work and supports the full gamut of features inherent to this era of gaming.

i assume that all of you know how wiki works so im just gonna denote some spaces for free conversation and the like. before your first ever post, please sign into the guestbook under either under "fan" or "dev" depending on your interests. BatshitInsane welcomes any talent and is an equal opportunity collective. use the example format for your full name and username. once you have signed in, feel free to post in the designated areas. please don't delete other people's posts, or post outside of the appropriate region. its rude, inconsiderate, and you're just being an asshole. we will hunt you down and kill you with sharp sharp sticks. im totally cool with random monologues, diatribes, profanity, whatever, as long as its under the "random shit" section. as you no doubt can tell im not very good at clearly stating any form of legislature, so just use your noggin and we'll all get along fine.
-max AKA cowsfeelchicken

so heres the guestbook.

GUESTBOOK

i'll use my name as an example for the format you should use.

Name -- username -- applying for developer position? -- if so what field?

1. Max Lauf -- Cowsfeelchicken -- N/A
2. Andy Harris -- GoatOnAPole -- N/A

DEVELOPERS

heres the list of developers. dont post in here, this is for me.

--username -- division(s)
--Cowsfeelchicken --team leaders, creative concepts, artistic development, consumer advisory board
--GoatOnAPole --team leaders, creative concepts, voice talent, consumer advisory board

FAN.CLUB

none yet, but hopefully someone will like our shit.

RANDOM.SHIT

insert penis here... (and by penis i mean words.)

PROJECTS!

• simon's rock, the videogame.

summary: so you were kicked out of catholic school for breaking into the snack bar, while under the influence of DRUGS, no less! after half a year of sitting on your ass you decide to get your shit together and go to college early, only to find out that its not the dreamland you had slavered all over your bong thinking about. the resident directors are hell bent on bringing you down, the head of student life has a vendetta of sorts against your friends, and theres a hoarde of goody-two-shoes who would be plenty tickled upon turning you in if you just gave them the chance. well, you got two options. you can just sit there and let them shove their fists where it hurts and wait for each and every one of your chums to be given the dreaded THIRD INFRACTION! or you can get up off your lazy pathetic ass, join a worthy faction and fight back. immerse yourself an interactive virtual campus where your every action dynamically changes the setting, and almost every road is open to you. THATS RIGHT! WASTE MORE AND MORE AND MORE OF YOUR INVALUABLE TIME! DONT GET A JOB! DONT PRY YOUR RED, BLOODSHOT EYES AWAY FROM THE FLATSCREEN MONITOR! DONT EVEN THINK OF LIFTING YOUR FUCKING HAND FROM THAT MOUSE! WE WANT YOU TO PLAY OUR FUCKING GAMES! FUCKFACE! WANNA SELL SOME DRUGS? WELL YOU CAN! join the Sketchy Transactions and Deals Society! (STDS) sell more pot and get the whole campus hooked and everyone just might start playing hackey sack in birkenstocks and be content with playing the guitar or the bongos instead of studying. who knows? just be careful. student life doesn't take very kindly to people who interfere with the image of the school, you know, cause then no jewish american princesses will want to go there and subsequently they wont be able to build that new student center that noone really wanted anyways. what? who said that? certainly not i, thats the computer talking...

this game is not affiliated in any way shape of form with the fine institution of simons rock college of bard. it is a work of pure fiction, a satire, a parody. please dont harrass us about this. its meant in the best way possible, and if you're too uptight to handle the humor, then fuck off. literally.

BatshitInsane productions consumer advisory rating (see below): weasel on acid for strong pervasive and sometimes annoying drug and alcohol related humor, sustained pervasive intense language, and thats about it

• night of the radish from the asteroids

summary: picture, if you will, a world without vegetables. how would we sustain our livestock? what the hell would all those goddamn vegans do simply because they watched that PETA video with alec baldwin? well, that really doesnt have anything to do with the point. see, way back when, lets say, 1971, it doesnt really matter anyways, the human race had languished to the point of near extermination. cannibalism, being the only source of sustinance, had reduced the population to under a thousand. sensing their emminent destruction, the remaining populous built a rocket and searched the galaxies for a food source that did not require them to fry their own testicles in butter, which, by the way, didnt exist because there werent any cows. years passed in cryosleep while the onboard computer, which was larger than the spaceship and was so simple that its native operating system couldnt even support the most frugal of games so it was quickly discarded for a playstation, searched for sustinance. however, the two pilots got into a heated debate, reputedly because one cheated at a game of mortal kombat, and strangled each other with their controller cords. the ship crashed into an asteriod, and as luck would have it, a populated one. there lived upon this rock an ancient colony of sentient beings, content with playing checkers and staring at modern art while making "hmmm" and "a ha" noises. however, they were all about four inches tall and soon the humans slaughtered them, and found that they made a very good creamy stew when blended and mixed with boiling water, so they enslaved all of the little beings and brought them back to earth. all except one, but he isnt really important to the story because he was alone on a rock and soon had to cannabalize HIMself. so the humans began to cultivate these strange little people and called them vegetables, and from the vegetables grew the cows and produce isles and shit, and everyone was happy and didnt have to fry their testicles in butter, which they now had thanks to the vegetables being a food source for the cows. for 4000 years the vegetables remained enslaved to the human race, and were actually quite content with it, until one day a little radish got up and said aloud "what the fuck guys?" and was promptly eaten alive by a child. well, that was about all that his bunk mate could take, so he became enraged with anger! and swelled up like a balloon and strangled the kid and ate him! and it felt damn good. so later that night, after he had picked the meat from the bones and fashioned a crude blunt weapon the femur and a ceremonial mask from the skull, he set out to avenge his entire ruined civilization.

BatshitInsane productions consumer advisory rating (see below): rabid skunk for intense violence and gore, heavy language, frightening/horrific imagery, and cannibalism.

BatshitInsane productions consumer advisory rating system:

since our games may contain (intentional) perverse, innapropriate, mature, shocking, repulsive, or other bad bad content, i have meticulously designed this ratings system. it is as follows:

• puffy bunnies and warm milk: a baby could play this game and suffer only slight retardation.

• guinea pig: mostly harmless.

• kitty cat with a hangover: slightly offensive, may contain or cause the emission of small amounts of blood, urine, semen, bile, or optic fluid.

• rabid skunk: now we're getting into the hard stuff. intense blood and violence, use of the word "fuck" or other profanities, race related humor, etc...

• weasel on acid: DRUGS! SEX! ROCK AND ROLL! DISEMBOWELMENT AND PERVASIVE BLOOD AND GORE! this is strictly for mature peoples.

• cross-eyed llama with an overbite, two hangnails, and an appetite for human flesh: we dont know what game could ever get this kind of rating, but god forbid we ever make one.

about us...

BatshitInsane productions is a not-for-profit collective dedicated to the production of quality entertainment. well, maybe not quality, but if you find it entertaining then download it. and tell your friends!

licensing and whatever

we swear not to charge you any money for the use of, distribution of, or other shit pertaining to our games. cause WE LOVE FREEWARE!!! you are free to distribute any software produced by BatshitInsane productions under this license as long as you agree to THESE TWO TERMS!!!!!!

• please dont claim ownership or responsibility for this game. if you didnt make it, and we catch you saying you did, we reserve the right to give you a wedgie or worse, spank you.

• DO NOT, and i repeat DO NOT COME RUNNING TO US IF YOU GET IN TROUBLE BECAUSE OF OUR GAMES!!! some/all of them may/will) contain (very) offensive content. please use at your own discretion. no emails saying "wah wah wah your game made me barf all over my $99999999999999 wireless game keyboard and it fucked up my alienware blah blah wah wah" cause we'll just laugh, and maybe mail you an air sickness bag for next time.

a note to parents...

why are you here?

if it's to complain about our software, go fuck yourself. how about getting the little fucks off the computer for once and giving them some FRESH AIR! when i was a kid i played OUTSIDE building forts and dams and things. if you give them the license to freely surf the net all day and watch animated hentai porn (which you know they love but cant force yourself to admit it) then YOU ARE AN AWFUL PARENT! tell them you love them and they wont kill people.

contact

my email is maxlauf88@yahoo.com -max AKA cowsfeelchicken